The Doctor in the doctor's office
by cheri1
Summary: 10Rose From a writing prompt: the Doctor spends time in a waiting room in a doctor's office. One Shot.


A/N: I use writing prompts from time to time and I found this one and decided to make a little fanfic around it.

The prompt is,_ Waiting in line, traffic or your doctor's lobby doesn't have to be a waste of time. Take a pad of paper or laptop with you and write how your hero or villain would respond if asked to wait._

I chose the doctor's office! Enjoy!...

"Ugh! Doctor's offices," the Doctor muttered as he followed Rose and Jackie into the waiting room. "Never put much stock in human doctors. I prefer my med bay on the TARDIS. Much less primitive. Not to mention the last hospital I was in, I had been shot and the surgeon got confused trying to figure out my anatomy, and I ended up dying and regenerating."

He paused.

"Speaking of all that, I wonder how Grace is doing?" he muttered thoughtfully to himself.

"Well, if you wanna take mum back to your TARDIS and do a mammogram on her, that's fine with me," Rose said.

The Doctor grimaced, and a shiver ran down his spine.

"No, I'll pass. The thought of seeing Jackie's breasts fills me with a terror that even the Daleks can't top," he said.

"Well, you aren't gettin' a look at my breasts so you can stop worrying," Jackie said.

"Oh Rassilon, there is a God," the Doctor muttered.

Jackie glared at him, as she walked over and checked in. Rose and the Doctor sat down in a couple of chairs. Rose picked up a magazine from a nearby table and began to thumb through it.

"Rose."

She looked at the Doctor who was staring at her with wide-eyed fear.

"Doctor, what's wrong?"

"Get me outta here, Rose, now!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

The Doctor seized her hand.

"I shoulda known. All doctor's offices have it, why did I think this one would be any different?"

"What?" Rose said confused.

"The most fiendish thing ever devised by humankind," the Doctor said dramatically.

Rose looked around expecting to see some hideous torture device, but she saw nothing out of the ordinary. She looked back at the Doctor and panicked when she saw all the color drain out of his face.

"What, Doctor, tell me? What is this fiendish thing?" Rose said feeling her heart race.

The Doctor pointed to the speaker in the ceiling.

"Musak, Rose, they're playing musak," he said, his eyes wide.

Rose stared at him.

"You're scared of the music?" she said in disbelief.

"Musak, Rose. There's a difference. Music is melodious and pleasant to listen to. Musak is a Rassilon awful creation designed to lull the victim into a zombie-like state of hypnosis with its instrumental cheesiness. Not to mention it's always easy listening tunes. That makes it even easier to put the listener to sleep and put them in their power."

He paused a moment and listened.

"See. Hear that? The Carpenters 'Top of the World' reduced to a somnambulistic symphony. Time Lords flee in terror from it, Rose. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to resist before my mind is reduced to mush, and I become a mindless drone."

"What's he on about now?" Jackie asked as she sat down beside Rose.

"He's freaking out because they're playing that instrumental music they always play in the doctor's office," Rose said to her.

"Bloody Hell, I knew it was a mistake to bring him along," Jackie muttered.

"I'm on top of the world looking down on creation…"

Rose looked at the Doctor who was now singing under his breath as he stared ahead with a glazed look in his eyes.

"…is the love that I've found ever since you've been around…"

"Doctor!" Rose said grabbing his shoulder and shaking him.

The Doctor gasped and looked around him.

"Oh Rassilon, was I hypnotized?" he said looking at her as Jackie groaned and put her head in her hand. "Oh Rose, thank you so much, who knows what I would have been capable of after another minute or two of their heinous mind control."

He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at the speaker. The musak was silenced, and the Doctor slumped down in his chair, relieved.

"I don't know what you see in him, Rose," Jackie muttered to herself.

"Here, Doctor, why don't you read a magazine? It'll help take your mind off being here," Rose said pointing to the little table beside his chair.

The Doctor stared at the stack of magazines on the table.

"Hmmm, good idea," he muttered.

He picked through the magazines while Rose went back to reading hers. He selected one and opened it up, as Jackie sighed and grabbed a magazine for herself. The three of them read quietly.

"ROSE!"

Rose and Jackie jumped out of their skin, and the receptionist glared at the Doctor, as he grabbed Rose's arm excitedly.

"Rose!" He said.

"What, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"Rose, you gotta see this! It's brilliant!" the Doctor said pointing at a page in his magazine. "This is another reason why I love you humans. You are so clever!"

Rose frowned.

"What are you reading? Some science magazine?" she said.

"Um…no…"

He glanced at the cover.

"Better Homes and Gardens," he said.

He looked up at Rose and shoved the magazine into her hands.

"Look, Rose, look!" he said, excited as a kid at Christmas.

"What?" Rose said looking at all the pictures on the page.

"That!" he said, pointing to one picture near the top of the article.

Rose stared at the picture.

"Um, Doctor, it's a cake made in the shape of a bunny," she said.

She looked at the cover.

"This is old. It's an Easter issue," she said.

"Who cares? Just look at it, Rose. A cake in the shape of a bunny! How brilliant is that? And they put food coloring on shredded coconut and used it to make the bunny's fur and the grass! Human beings are just so amazing!"

Jackie stared at the Doctor who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Is he serious? He really is getting off on seeing a cake made in the shape of a bleedin' rabbit?" she asked.

"Sadly yes, this is not an act, I assure you," Rose said.

"A bunny cake. I never would have thought of that in a million, billion years!" the Doctor said enthusiastically, as he took the magazine back from Rose. "I wonder what else they got in here?"

He thumbed through the magazine, as Jackie looked at Rose and twirled her finger around her ear.

A door opened, and a nurse stuck her head around.

"Jackie Tyler?" she said.

"Oh thank God, it's about time you called for me," Jackie said, throwing down the magazine and leaping off.

"Bye Jackie! Have fun having your breasts mashed to your chest by primitive human technology," the Doctor called out, as he thumbed through his magazine.

The nurse stared at him and looked at Jackie.

"Never mind, that's our cousin Patrick. He's soft in the head. Been that way for years," Jackie explained.

The nurse nodded. She stepped aside, let Jackie pass, and closed the door.

"Ah, the chill in the air has lifted," the Doctor, said contentedly. "Now, back to my magazine."

Rose shook her head and turned the page of her magazine. There was silence for a few moments and then Rose felt the Doctor tugging on her shirtsleeve.

"Yes, Doctor," she said.

"Need your opinion about something."

"Yes, Doctor, the bunny cake is lovely," she said not taking her eyes off her magazine. "Humans are brilliant for thinking of it."

"No, not that, I want you to take a look at this picture, and tell me if this would look good in the TARDIS."

Rose lowered her magazine. She glanced over and looked where the Doctor was pointing. She frowned when she saw he was pointing to a picture of a lavishly decorated living room.

"What, you want to put this living room in the TARDIS?" she asked gesturing to the picture.

"Not all of it. Just this," the Doctor said pointing to purple curtains. "I like them."

"You want purple curtains in the TARDIS?"

"Yes, I do."

"Um, Doctor, I know I've never seen the entire TARDIS, but so far I've never seen any windows in it."

"There aren't any windows," the Doctor confirmed.

"Then, where would you put the curtains?" Rose asked.

"Weeeeeell, I was thinking I could put a curtain rod over the front door and hang them there. What do you think?"

"You want…curtains in front of the front door."

"Yeah, brighten up the console room."

"Doctor, we go in and out of that door."

The Doctor gave her a condescending look.

"Yes, Rose, that's why I would tie them back. You see how they're tied back in this picture so you can see the window?" he said in a patronizing tone of voice.

"Yes, Doctor," Rose replied in a patronizing tone of voice. "And that's a win…dow. Cur…tains go with win…dows, not doors. See how the curtains are not over the door, they're over the window? That's how you hang them."

The Doctor eyed her.

"Well, if you're gonna treat me like a moron, I'll do the same thing back to ya," she said defensively.

"I just think they would look good in the console room, is all," he said haughtily. "If I'm going to be buying them, I want to put them where I can see them, and since I spend the majority of my time in the console room that is the logical place to put them."

"I think logic waved bye-bye to you a long time ago, Doctor," Rose muttered under her breath.

He turned the page of the magazine.

"I guess I shall forget about purchasing curtains then," he said. "Since I know the minute I do I will never hear the end of it from you."

"I didn't say you couldn't, Doctor. I was just pointing out that if you hang them over the bleedin' front door, we'll get caught in them when we're running inside and…oh, hell, never mind," Rose muttered as she went back to her magazine. "Pick your battles, Tyler, pick your battles."

She turned the page of her magazine and found a story about a dog rescuing its owner from a fire. She became so engrossed in the story that it took her awhile to notice that the Doctor was breathing heavily in her ear. She turned her head and saw he was looking over her shoulder at the article.

"Brave dog," He said to himself. "Reminds me a lot of K9. What magazine is this?"

"Um…Dog Fancy."

"Hmmm."

The Doctor read silently over her shoulder.

"How 'bout if I just give you this magazine so you can read the story yourself?" Rose offered.

"Nah, I love this spot, your shoulder is soft and comfy."

"Doctor, get off of me."

The Doctor glanced at her and sighed, as he leaned back up.

"Fine, fine, I didn't realize it was a crime to share a magazine with your girl," he said.

He put Better Homes and Gardens back in the stack and perused the other magazines.

"Drat," he said to himself.

"What?" Rose asked.

He sighed.

"I miss reading Gallifreyan magazines. There was nothing compared to curling up in a comfy chair in front of a roaring fire and whiling away the hours reading Quantum Physics Monthly or Temporal Adventurers. Those were the days!"

"Oh yeah, I can just imagine," Rose said rolling her eyes.

They looked up as the door opened, and Jackie stepped into the room.

"So, Jackie, breasts in working order? Any weird bumps that might signal the presence of malignant tumors that could grow to gargantuan proportions and cause you to die a slow painful death?

Jackie glowered at him.

"No, then?" the Doctor said, shrugging.

"Let's go, Rose, before I cause your malignant tumor of a boyfriend to die a slow painful death right here in this waiting room," she said stomping past him.

The Doctor stood and took Rose's arm. He grinned at her and gave her a peck on the cheek as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. They followed Jackie out of the waiting room and headed back towards home.

THE END.


End file.
